Explaining "Clash of the Titans" (2010) to Genevieve

Disclaimer: For my creative writing class we’re supposed to be looking at the world with “poetic eyes.” We’re also taught that writing helps your creativity flow. So, FYI, the following poem is not really intended to be good. It’s just practice. Be kind.

Side note: Don’t let my opinion of Clash of the Titans (2010 version) mess with yours.

I watched Clash of the Titans over the weekend with my roommates.

Oh, yeah? How’d you like it?

The effects were cool, but I didn’t follow the storyline very well.

Really? My sister saw it and loved it! I haven’t seen it though.

Well, it’s about this guy

Who washes up to a boat as a baby

in a trunk

with a dead woman.

His mother?

Yeah. But you don’t find that out until later.

Oh.

So a fisherman finds this baby

And brings him up as his own son.

Then a bunch of years later,

The boy’s whole family drowns

When Hades

Comes up from the underworld

And creates a massive wave that sinks their boat.

He did this

by order of Zeus (who loves mankind)

because some crazy people

decided they were tired of the gods ruling their lives

and destroyed a statue of Zeus.

The boy, Perseus, is so mad

That he wants to kill Hades right then and there.

(But it’s probably good he didn’t try

Because he would have been toast.)

He can’t try

Because Hades disappears

And then some soldiers find Perseus

And take him back to the kingdom

With the crazy king

And even crazier queen

Who are making war on the gods

And somehow expect to win

And Hades comes again, directly to the royal court

And you find out Perseus is actually a demigod,

Son of Zeus.

Huh?

I know.

So Perseus is actually the son of a god;

His mother was a queen

Of a distant kingdom.

Her husband, the king,

Was making Zeus mad

So he disguised himself

As the mortal king

And tricked his wife

Into having a child with him.

When the king finds out

The boy isn’t his,

He’s so mad he locks his wife

And the baby

Into a trunk

And throws them off a cliff into the sea.

The woman dies,

But Perseus, son of a god, does not.

He’s the only one

Who can defeat the kraken

Which is Hades’s child

And can only be killed

With the head of Medusa.

So Perseus decides to kill the kraken

But first they have to kill Medusa

And before that

They have to talk to the (three? four?) Fates

To find out how to kill Medusa

But on the way to do that

Hades starts getting worried

And turns Perseus’s mother’s husband,

The mean and criminally insane king,

Into a monster with incredible power

And sends him to kill Perseus and his companions.

They end up fighting

A bunch of giant scorpions

Created by drops of the monster king’s blood

As well as the monster king himself.

A few people die,

They defeat the scorpions,

The monster king runs off,

Perseus talks to the Fates (creeps!)

And they’re off to kill Medusa.

All the while

There’s this girl following them

Who was cursed by Zeus not to age;

So she’s been around for many years

Watching Perseus grow up

And she just so happens to know

Where Medusa’s lair is,

And leads the company there.

Women cannot enter in,

So she waits outside

While everyone else (all men)

Go in and die.

Only Perseus makes it out,

Carrying the head of Medusa

In a travel-worn sack,

Triumphant but shaken.

As he nears the girl

She is stabbed through the back

By the monster king,

Whom Perseus immediately kills,

But too late

to save the old-yet-young beautiful woman

who led him there.

Perseus had made an oath

To kill the kraken without

Any help from the gods

But to kill the monster king,

He used a sword given him from Zeus,

And to kill the kraken,

He flew on a black pegasus

Sent from Zeus

Holding the head

Of a terrible myth

He could only have defeated

With the help of the Fates

And the guidance

Of a woman

Made almost immortal

By Zeus.

So he finally swallows his pride

And flies to where the kraken

Was due to appear,

Kills it,

And Zeus appears in person

To thank him,

Because Hades had tricked him

Into giving him strength

And if Perseus hadn’t killed the kraken

Hades would have usurped Zeus

And claimed rule

Of the universe.

Zeus offers Perseus

A place in Olympus,

Among the gods,

But Perseus refuses.

And then proud-but-bummed Zeus proclaims,

“No son of mine shall ever be alone!”

And he brings back to life

The woman

The monster king killed

Right after the Medusa battle.

And as heroic music plays

The screen fades to black

And the credits start rolling in.

That’s it?

That’s it.

So… How’d you like it?

Cool effects. Weird story.