Devil car

"Hey Jessica, will you go start my car for me?" Jennifer asked this morning while she was doing her hair for church.

"Sure."

"Now remember, when you turn on the car you have to-"

"I know, I know," I interrupted, and when Jen gave me the keys I dutifully went out and found her car. It's a stick shift. Jennifer has been teaching me to drive stick, so I knew how to start her car. What I didn't realize was I needed to step on the brake AND the clutch at the same time, or The Rice Rocket would start rolling forward. (There is no 'park' option in a stick shift, to park you only shift into first and turn off the engine- and put on the e-brake if there's a danger you'll roll.)

So. The first time I tried to start her car, I let off the clutch too quickly and it stalled. The second time, I let it out very carefully and was super surprised when it started ROLLING FORWARD! I hit the brake but was at a loss for what to do after that. How could I leave Jen's car running when it was in danger of rolling all over the parking lot? (Here, Becky from my ward walked by with some of her roommates and stared at me in Jen's car. "I've got it," I assured them with a smile while stamping on Jen's brake)

I decided I had to run ask her what to do. She hasn't taught me reverse yet, so after I turned off the car (and made sure it wasn't rolling anymore) I just had to leave it there, partway pulled out of the parking space. Jennifer was really confused when I came in saying her car was going by itself and how did I stop it.

"Jessica, you're supposed to put it in neutral after you turn it on," Jennifer said.

"Ohh," I answered, and ran back out to the parking lot. To my relief, the car hadn't moved an inch from where I'd seen it last, but when I turned it back on and shifted into neutral it started moving forward again! I couldn't figure it out. The car hadn't needed a brake when it was turned off, in first, why did it need a brake when it was turned on, in neutral? The parking lot wasn't on a hill.

I'm in the middle of the parking lot and there's an open space right in front of me, I thought. I know Jen hates backing up, but I'd rather make her back out of a parking space than stay here in her car in everyone's way. But my confidence with driving stick was shot, and I couldn't remember how to get out of neutral so I could pull into the space. I was stuck.

Right then, Jon Furner (also from my ward) and some of his roommates got in his car to leave. It was parked RIGHT IN FRONT and one space to the right of Jen's car. I sat there in that car which was halfway blocking his path holding the brake and praying he wouldn't hit me. I know he saw me, but he kept backing up until I was sure his car would start pushing Jen's back. (In fact, I'm pretty dang sure he actually hit her front bumper- but he was going slowly enough it didn't really matter.)

Jennifer FINALLY came out about a minute later. When I saw her, I slouched down as far as I could in the seat while still holding up her broken e-brake (she usually props it up with a laundry soap bottle, but I wasn't strong enough to wedge the bottle in good), making me look even shorter in her car than I really am (although even with the seat moved all the way forward, I'm still slightly too short). She stopped in her tracks and looked at little me in her devil stick shift car halfway out of the parking space and busted up laughing.

"Jessica. You just made my morning," she said when she got closer. "Now get out of my car."