I've decided I have a gift for writing obnoxiously long, but still grammatically correct, sentences.

I would compare myself to Henry David Thoreau (have you tried reading Walden? Whew! At least I ramble in conversational English vocabulary- with him you need a dictionary sitting next you every minute), except I rarely, if ever, write obnoxiously long sentences about philosophicalities. (Just made that word up; I think it's kind of cool.)