Why I believe in God

For the past several months, I've been reflecting on my beliefs. I grew up in the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints. For a long time, I went to church because my parents did. In my early teenage years, I decided if I was going to continue going to church, I'd better learn for myself whether it was true. So I read the scriptures, especially the Book of Mormon, and prayed. I started paying more attention to what was being taught in church, and found it was helpful and applicable to my daily life. I kept going to church.

When I moved away for college, my faith wavered again. In this new environment, my parents weren't around to remind me to read my scriptures and say my prayers. Not all my roommates went to church, and I learned it takes a lot of courage and determination to attend on your own. I did my best to keep up the habits I'd formed in childhood. I gained a better understanding that one does not attend church to hang out with friends; one attends church to get closer to God. I kept going to church.

On my mission, I was immersed 24/7 in church things. My companion and I dedicated two hours each day to scripture study. We prayed constantly. We shared our beliefs constantly. I felt the Spirit testify of our words.

And yet, even still my faith was not perfect. It wavered every time an investigator or less-active member asked the hard questions. Most of them were "why" questions: "If God really exists, why does He allow bad things to happen to good people?" "If God really loves everyone unconditionally, why do we have to follow the commandments to be saved in the kingdom of heaven?" "Why do you say there's only one true church - don't we all worship the same God?"

I studied. I prayed. I had deep discussions with my mission companions. I learned I did not have all the answers. But the amount of things I did know far exceeded the amount of things I did not know. I knew God was real. I knew He loved me. And I knew that through the grace of Jesus Christ, everything would work out. As the saying goes: Because of Jesus Christ, all bad things are temporary and all good things are eternal. Additionally, one day we will have all the answers.

Long story short...I kept going to church.

Last Sunday was Palm Sunday. The first day of the last week of Jesus' mortal life. As I sat in church, my thoughts turned again to self reflection. Why do I believe in God?

I pondered the experiences I've had with prayer and scripture study. I thought about my mission. Then I realized the answer to my question could be explained much more simply than by going through all that.

I believe in God because of the Spirit. I have felt the Holy Spirit testify to me, soul to soul, on many occasions that God exists, and that He loves His children. The late prophet Harold B. Lee once said:

I bear you my testimony that I know the Savior lives, that the most powerful witness you can have that He lives comes when the power of the Holy Spirit bears witness to your soul that He does live. More powerful than sight, more powerful than walking and talking with Him, is that witness of the Spirit... ("Chapter 5: Walking in the Light of Testimony." TEACHINGS OF PRESIDENTS OF THE CHURCH: HAROLD B. LEE. Salt Lake City: Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints, 2000. 37-46. Print.)

Easter is approaching. It's one of my favorite holidays because of the hope it instills in me. Jesus suffered greatly during His last week of life, but He overcame it all. His perfect example of obedience and faith are inspiring, and His sacrifices in Gesthemane and at Golgotha enable me - and all mankind - to be forgiven for our past mistakes and become better disciples. They also enable me - and all mankind - to one day live again as resurrected beings.

And God shall wipe away all tears from their eyes; and there shall be no more death, neither sorrow, nor crying, neither shall there be any more pain: for the former things are passed away. (Revelation 21:4)

Hallelujah!

I love the Drapers

Whitney and I arrived safely in Sacramento on Saturday, and the first thing we did (after dinner) was meet my Draper family at a church family dance. :)

The Sabbath this week was wonderful. The Drapers don't have church until 2pm. I spent the morning looking at all the cool new toys Matthew and Nathaniel got for Christmas in the years it's been since I've got to play with them. We all also made Valentines and went on a walk.

Church was special. My favorite part was when a young boy, who Scott said was from a recently converted family, bore his testimony of the Book of Mormon. The kid even shared his favorite scripture.

After dinner later that day, we played Telestrations as a family and we were laughing so hard, our stomachs hurt.

Sorry I don't have pictures to share.

Making skeleton cookies

I tried to make cookies for my work Christmas party on Sunday. First I cooked them too long and Federica and I wound up scraping them off the pan. Then they fell apart. Sometimes I just can't win... haha.

Serving the people of Bayaguana, Dominican Republic

On Nov. 6, I left for a humanitarian mission organized by the nonprofit Lift A Life with my brother Tyler and Sarah, a family friend. Lift A Life has brought groups of doctors, nurses and dentists to provide free health care for children in Bayaguana about 2-3 times per year for several years. Each trip lasts about 10 days; the volunteers set up a temporary medical clinic and work for five days, followed by a few days of relaxation at a beach resort.

Source: www.weather-forecast.com

Last year, Lift a Life raised money to build a permanent medical clinic. It is spacious, with at least two rooms dedicated as classrooms and about 12 more rooms designated for medical exams and dental care. The clinic also includes a pharmacy and a few rooms for storage.

Nov. 8: Tyler and I stand outside Lift A Life's new medical clinic

When Tyler and I arrived with 50-plus other volunteers (including doctors, nurses, dentists, pharmacists and an optometrist), the outside of the building was done and beautiful. Inside, however, workers had to put in long hours to finish hooking up the plumbing and electricity. Each team also worked hard to prepare their rooms to serve the people from the village Nov. 9-12. Tyler and I worked as Spanish/English translators for the pharmacy and dental teams.

Nataly is from Bayaguana and studies English in school. She came to help me translate on the first day the clinic opened. She was a big help with crowd control!

Today is El Salvador's Independence Day

¡Feliz día de independencia, mi querido país de El Salvador!

I still remember my first Independence Day in El Salvador. I had just arrived in the country and was in my first area in la colonia Santa Lucía, Ilopango. September 15 was a Sunday, and before church started, members of the Relief Society passed out blue and white flowers to all the women. To start off sacrament meeting, the bishopric had everyone stand and sing the national anthem. There was also a parade passing right in front of the chapel. (However, we were too busy having church inside to watch it.)

At the time, all of these events went over my head. I didn't understand much Spanish and was still a little bit in shock, trying to adjust living in a foreign country. I remember thinking, It's cool how patriotic they are here, but funny... I don't remember us singing the national anthem last Sunday. I wonder how often they do that?

It wasn't until the following year, when my second Independence Day rolled around, that I understood what the occasion was. My second Independence Day was a Monday, usually the missionaries' "preparation day" - a day dedicated to cleaning the house, writing our families, going grocery shopping, and running errands so that we could focus 100 percent the rest of the week on the Lord's work. I was excited because I thought my companion and I might be able to watch part of the parade, but then the mission president dictated that p-day would be moved to Tuesday that week, and required all missionaries to stay inside and do extra scripture study during the parade. I was a little disappointed, but we obeyed President. I know the decision was probably made for our own protection.

The light on the hill

Ye are the light of the world. A city that is set on an hill cannot be hid.

Neither do men light a candle, and put it under a bushel, but on a candlestick; and it giveth light unto all that are in the house.

Let your light so shine before men, that they may see your good works, and glorify your Father which is in heaven.

- Matthew 5:14-16, KJV

I was here today:

This beautiful building in Logan is a temple to God. It's different than a church meetinghouse (most church meetinghouses are called "templos" in El Salvador, leading to some confusion about what "temple" means to members of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints). Temples are often built on hills in token of Jesus' teachings, recorded in Matthew chapter 5.

The temple is a place where worthy people complete ordinances. An ordinance is a formal act a person takes to show his/her dedication to God. God has commanded us to complete several ordinances, including baptism, confirmation and marriage. Therefore, the temple is all about bringing us closer to God.

To preserve the sacredness of the temple, each person must have a special recommend to enter. Anyone can qualify to get a recommend. God explained the requirements in a revelation to the prophet Joseph Smith:

And again, by way of commandment to the church concerning the manner of baptism—All those who humble themselves before God, and desire to be baptized, and come forth with broken hearts and contrite spirits, and witness before the church that they have truly repented of all their sins, and are willing to take upon them the name of Jesus Christ, having a determination to serve him to the end, and truly manifest by their works that they have received of the Spirit of Christ unto the remission of their sins, shall be received by baptism into his church. (Doctrine and Covenants 20:37)

I was also here on Friday:

The Salt Lake City Temple is one of the most well-known LDS temples.

A connection to the past

As missionaries, we were always excited when local young adults came home from their own missions. These newly returned missionaries were used to walking long hours, striking up conversations with complete strangers and guiding gospel discussions. They also typically didn't have jobs yet and were more than willing to go out visiting with us.

This week, a flashback took me back to the day we went out with a newly returned sister missionary from Apopa. She was the younger sister of Majorit, one of the members of Barrio Refineria (Refineria Ward). She’d arrived home only a day or two before, and from personal experience I now understand how lost she probably still felt.

Hna Infanzon and I arrived at the chapel to meet her prior to beginning the day's work. I will always remember the wide smile that lit up her face when she saw us, and the longing in her eyes because of our missionary nametags - those precious plaquitas that represented countless spiritual struggles and triumphs, total dedication to God and love for those you served.

The longing must have won out, because when she gave me a hug of greeting, she didn't let me go right away. I started to release her after a normal amount of time, but her hold tightened and she started to get choked up, so I gave in and hugged her back.

After a minute or so, she released me and stepped back, wiping her eyes quickly with the back of her hand, and gave Hna Infanzon a regular hug of greeting. She was okay after that, and we had a great afternoon together.

In that moment, I felt my spirit connect with hers and I felt honored to provide a brief connection to her past.

Now that I'm home, my place is reversed, and the sisters that serve near my home now provide my connection to the past.