The best years are the ones you're living

I told someone recently, "I went to El Salvador in 2013, but I never really came back."

It's true; I still think of that beautiful country and its wonderful people every day. When I finished my mission and came home in January 2015, I left part of my heart behind.

Yet I try not to live in the past too much. As my old mission president David Glazier once said, "I never want to hear you missionaries talk about your missions as the 'best two years' of your lives. The best years of your lives will be the ones in which you're living. Live in the present, not the past!"

I've tried to take that counsel to heart, and it's amazing how the more I pay attention to the present, the more beauty and wonder I experience. It could be a rainbow, a sunrise, the stars. Or a fun activity with a friend, an opportunity to serve, a joke with a coworker.

I love my people of El Salvador. But I love those who surround me now, too. To me, this is one of the secrets of happiness.

Remember the past. Plan for the future. Live in the present. And try to love people!

Today is El Salvador's Independence Day

¡Feliz día de independencia, mi querido país de El Salvador!

I still remember my first Independence Day in El Salvador. I had just arrived in the country and was in my first area in la colonia Santa Lucía, Ilopango. September 15 was a Sunday, and before church started, members of the Relief Society passed out blue and white flowers to all the women. To start off sacrament meeting, the bishopric had everyone stand and sing the national anthem. There was also a parade passing right in front of the chapel. (However, we were too busy having church inside to watch it.)

At the time, all of these events went over my head. I didn't understand much Spanish and was still a little bit in shock, trying to adjust living in a foreign country. I remember thinking, It's cool how patriotic they are here, but funny... I don't remember us singing the national anthem last Sunday. I wonder how often they do that?

It wasn't until the following year, when my second Independence Day rolled around, that I understood what the occasion was. My second Independence Day was a Monday, usually the missionaries' "preparation day" - a day dedicated to cleaning the house, writing our families, going grocery shopping, and running errands so that we could focus 100 percent the rest of the week on the Lord's work. I was excited because I thought my companion and I might be able to watch part of the parade, but then the mission president dictated that p-day would be moved to Tuesday that week, and required all missionaries to stay inside and do extra scripture study during the parade. I was a little disappointed, but we obeyed President. I know the decision was probably made for our own protection.

A connection to the past

As missionaries, we were always excited when local young adults came home from their own missions. These newly returned missionaries were used to walking long hours, striking up conversations with complete strangers and guiding gospel discussions. They also typically didn't have jobs yet and were more than willing to go out visiting with us.

This week, a flashback took me back to the day we went out with a newly returned sister missionary from Apopa. She was the younger sister of Majorit, one of the members of Barrio Refineria (Refineria Ward). She’d arrived home only a day or two before, and from personal experience I now understand how lost she probably still felt.

Hna Infanzon and I arrived at the chapel to meet her prior to beginning the day's work. I will always remember the wide smile that lit up her face when she saw us, and the longing in her eyes because of our missionary nametags - those precious plaquitas that represented countless spiritual struggles and triumphs, total dedication to God and love for those you served.

The longing must have won out, because when she gave me a hug of greeting, she didn't let me go right away. I started to release her after a normal amount of time, but her hold tightened and she started to get choked up, so I gave in and hugged her back.

After a minute or so, she released me and stepped back, wiping her eyes quickly with the back of her hand, and gave Hna Infanzon a regular hug of greeting. She was okay after that, and we had a great afternoon together.

In that moment, I felt my spirit connect with hers and I felt honored to provide a brief connection to her past.

Now that I'm home, my place is reversed, and the sisters that serve near my home now provide my connection to the past.

Earthquake! EARTHQUAKE!

In the Mexico MTC, we had regular earthquake drills, but I never felt any real quakes. On the other hand, in El Salvador, we frequently felt little, not-quite-earthquakes that we called temblores. They were never anything to journal about, except for one time in October:

It was about 10 pm in Cojutepeque. Hna Merrell and I had finished eating and planning and were almost ready for bed. I was standing at the sink washing dishes; my companion was sitting at her desk writing in her journal. Suddenly I became aware that the earth was rocking beneath my feet and called to Hna Merrell, "Hermana, do you feel it temblando...?"

Every other time, the temblores I experienced had only lasted for a second. My pulse quickened when I realized this quake was stronger and longer. I stumbled to the front room, where Hna Merrell was already on her feet with the keys.

"We'd better wait it out outside," Hna Merrell said, and together we walked to the door. Hna Merrell's hands were shaking as she struggled to fit the key in the lock. Less than a minute later, we stepped out into the warm night. Our neighbors, who had done the same thing, called to us to make sure the gringas were okay. The earth stopped shaking less than a minute later, we bade each another good night and disappeared back into our respective homes.

I wrote about it briefly in my journal and prayed fervently that night in my personal prayer that Hna Merrell and I would wake up and be able to get out should a stronger aftershock arrive in the middle of the night. But by the time Monday morning rolled around, I'd forgotten enough about it that I didn't even mention it in my weekly email home.

My journal entry reads:

"We just felt an honest-to-goodness earthquake. It lasted between 10 to 20 seconds (hard to tell when your heart's beating fast) and was the strongest I've ever felt here in El Salvador. We left our house quickly and stood in front while things normalized. Our vecinos had done the same thing." (Journal 3, 13 Oct 2014)

Celebrating a birthday with a prayer

In El Salvador, whenever someone has a birthday, their family always says a prayer for them. As missionaries, we were frequently asked to say the prayer.

The first time I saw it happen, I was puzzled and intrigued by the tradition. It didn't seem to be limited to members of just one church, but everyone of all different faiths (in all four areas where I served) followed it religiously. The words of the prayer varied, depending on who was saying it, but almost always included two key ideas:

1. "Thank you for permitting [insert name here] another year of life."
2. "Wilt Thou grant that [he/she] has many more years ahead."

When I woke up today, on the morning of my twenty-third birthday, my first thought was of my people in El Salvador. Logically, my second thought was that today I turn 23 years old and I incorporated their prayer tradition in my daily morning supplication to God.

Following the "Amen," I had a burst of inspiration. I think I understand now why the Salvadoreños say what they do in every birthday prayer. They are taught, seemingly from the cradle, a lesson that many people do not learn for a lifetime: that they must not take their lives for granted.

I spent 18 months living among them. Those experiences opened my eyes. They are precious and sacred to me. They cemented for me two truths:

1. God lives.
2. In life, it is much better to suffer believing in God than to suffer without any hope of redemption or resurrection. If we don't have hope in our bitter and dark moments that better and happier times will come, what are we living for? God and Jesus Christ are the only perfect Beings who cannot disappoint us. They are the only ones with the power to make us better than we are, and to return life to those who have died.

El Salvador is one of the most dangerous countries in the world because of gang violence. It's also filled with the most humble, faith-filled, resilient people I've ever known. In my life, I hope to value forever the lessons they taught me. One of the most basic lessons being not to take anything for granted, not even our own lives.

Las famosas pupusas

Today I gathered some words of advice from my friends in El Salvador about making pupusas... and drew on the handful of experiences I've had making pupusas... conscripted my mother and the sister missionaries to help me... and attempted to make pupusas!

Someone once told me you could mimic the taste of quesillo by mixing shredded mozzarella cheese with shredded parmesan cheese. I tried that, and I think it did turn out pretty similar. Just without the freshness taste.

The beans turned out great, if I do say so myself.

Next time, I'll add more onions, green pepper and garlic to the salsa.

Orlando's 180-degree lifestyle change

We first saw Orlando sitting in his doorway with his head in his hands, crying. My companion Hna Infanzon and I approached and asked if we could help him. He replied that he was drunk and had gotten drunk because he was sad and really missed his wife. She had died about three years before.

Hna Infanzon and I felt strongly impressed to talk with him. We bore our testimonies that God had a plan that would allow Orlando to be together with his wife forever. He looked at us with pain in his eyes. Desperate for answers, but at the same time afraid to ask lest it turn out not to be true.

After scheduling a time to return and teach Orlando more when he was sober, Hna Infanzon and I went on our way. We were grateful for the experience and excited to return to visit Orlando. However, when we returned, the house was silent. No one answered the door. We left and returned on a different day. This time, a young neighbor boy announced helpfully that Orlando wasn’t ever home.

We returned a few more times to his house, but we never found him at home. Regretfully, we made plans to visit the house just once more before writing it off as "contacted."

As we approached Orlando's house for what we thought may be the last time, Hna Infanzon and I were overjoyed to see him sitting on the front step - exactly the same place in which we met him. This time, he was sober. He invited us in. Yanet, who was accompanying us that day, followed us into the house.

Orlando turned out to be every bit as prepared an investigator as we'd hoped. The Spirit wasted no time in witnessing to him the truthfulness of Joseph Smith's story. We didn't have to worry about bringing him to church; Orlando brought himself, and he always arrived early.

During the lesson on the Word of Wisdom, as we explained God wants us to keep our bodies clean of drugs and alcohol, Orlando told us that since the day he first met us, he hadn’t touched a drop of alcohol. He got choked up as he continued: "I feel happier now than I've felt in a long time."

We got choked up as we testified: "You will see your wife again."

I was transferred out of Apopa not long after that memorable lesson. Hna Infanzon and her new companion continued working with Orlando. He was baptized in July. The neighbor boy was also baptized, shortly thereafter.

I admire Orlando for his courage and faith. He made many changes in his life in order to align himself more with God. And oh, how God blessed that humble man in return!

First attempt at making Salvadorean food

Today I tried making a quick and easy meal that I often ate in El Salvador: a tortilla with beans and avocado. Down there, beans are frequently mixed with cream cheese (queso crema). I personally also like onions, tomato, and cilantro, so I went the easy way out and just mixed the avocado with medium spicy salsa with fresh cilantro on top. Then I thought, all this is going to the same place anyway, and mixed my semi-homemade guacamole with the beans and cream cheese.

After utterly charboiling my first tortilla, the rest of my burritos turned out okay. Next time though, I'll have to be more careful about mixing everything better. The bean mixture came out kinda chunky. :) but delicious!

Baking in San Miguel

Time in San Miguel: 3 months
There’s something special about San Miguel. Hna Ortega said it reminded her of her home. It reminded me of Apopa. We found many prepared people. All San Migueleños in general were kind and welcoming, even when they weren't interested in hearing us. I loved it there. I even liked the heat (it was the hottest area for sister missionaries in the whole mission).
Companions: Hna Fuentes (1½ months), Hna Ortega (1½ months)

A few stories...

Meeting Joving, and the "Share the Gift" temple activity

"(Last night,) as we walked toward El Tesoro via Colonia San Pablo, I was feeling bad because we had had almost no street contacts still. I saw a young man a little ways in front of us and determined to speak with him.

"This decision was inspired, because the man- his name is Joving (pronounced JO-bing)- es super great. We talked and walked with him for only about five minutes, and in those five minutes he committed to go to the temple with us today.

"Fast-forward to today in the early morning- exactly 5:45 am. Joving arrived by himself at the taxi stop and accompanied us to the temple! He was very interested in everything and asked me before the activity started things like, 'Why can't I enter the temple?' During the classes and virtual tour, he must have been paying close attention, because at the end when we were all getting back on the bus to return to San Miguel, he asked me:

"'So anyone who's been recently baptized has to wait one year to be able to enter the temple? What do I have to do to get baptized? How lucky that I haven't been baptized by any other church, still. How can I become a missionary? Could I be a missionary?'

"WOW. This youth (he's 20) is a MIRACLE. And after all that, he also committed to attend sacrament meeting not only tomorrow, but EVERY Sunday he has off work. (It'll be every other Sunday.)" (Journal 3, 6 December 2014, self-translated)

Every bus is in a hurry in El Salvador...
"I jumped out of a bus last Monday because Hna Ortega had already gotten off but the bus started to leave again without giving me the opportunity to get off. It didn't stop for me, so I jumped." (It wasn't going very fast, maybe two miles per hour.) (Journal 3, 30 December 2014, self-translated)

El volcán Chaparrastique

8 Nov 2014--me, Hna Fuentes, Saraí and Saraí's member boyfriend at her baptism

Oriente super P-day with Presidente! All the zones in the oriente got together for a sports day

Hna Fuentes, Perlita, Hna Lovo, me

Hna Fuentes, Hna Lovo, me, Hazel

There was a bee flying around getting in everyone's hair. Hazel's creativity saved her.

5 Dec 2014--Hno Victor's baptism! He asked E. Acosta to baptize him.
E. Acosta, Hno Victor, and Hno Edgar (ward mission leader)

"Como dos hermanos," Victor said about his pose with E. Acosta :)

13 Dec 2014--A family that came to the "Share the Gift" temple activity

14 Dec 2014--E. Acosta, E. Belk, Kevin, Hna Fuentes, me

Hna Fuentes and I got along really well. I love her!

14 Dec 2014--With the Garcia family: Kevin, Adán, Jose, Flor

Cooking sausages at the Garcia home

15 Dec 2014--Me, Hna Fuentes, Hna Lea, Hna Yancy
Noche de hogar/farewell party for Hna Fuentes

Hna Fuentes with Yancy's cute kids, Jefferson and Joselin

Navidad 2014: To be a missionary is the best gift anyone could ask for

My parents sent me this Christmas tree

Hna Ortega had terrible luck with the mirror at our house. She accidentally broke it over and over again, until we were left with only this small piece. haha

I love Hna Ortega!

Dia de Navidad con Presidente--Hna Hall, me, Hna Ortega, Hna Sagapolu

For the Missionary Talent Show, one zone did a live nativity with a little help from Presidente, his wife, and one of their grandsons

La zona San Miguel with President's family

Group shot at the día de Navidad 2015

24 Dec 2014--Returning from another intercambio with Hna Huamani

Hermana y Hermano Brito invited us to eat panes con pollo for Christmas

By the river in Canton Miraflores (aka "el mongollano")

Hna Alcantara and her daughter

Hna Ortega made baleadas for a noche de hogar.
Hna Ortega con Hna Sonia

Hna Norberta taught us to make budin! A current investigator, Laura, came too :)

17 Jan 2015--One last miracle baptism: Joving!
Hno Edgar, E. Belk, E. Perez, Joving, me, Hna Ortega, Hno Darwin

With my volcano

Last cita with familia Lovo

Saying goodbye to Hna Adela

20 Jan 2015--Hno Edgar organized a surprise farewell party for me, Hna Ortega and Elder Perez

E. Perez, E. Belk, Hno Darwin, Hna Jackelin, Hno Edgar, Hna Ortega, me

The elderes and us both visited the familia Ayala

Joving somehow escaped work and came to our farewell party for a bit!

Con Maria and Kristina

Laura came to our house on our last night to say goodbye

21 Jan 2015--With the "hermano taxista," a recent convert from a different ward who was ON FIRE

(and a friend of ours)

Hna Sagapolu gave Hna Ortega and I each a Samoan lava-lava

Hna Cano and Hna Huamani grabbed us for one last picture

Hna Cano, me, Hna Huamani, Hna Ortega, Hna Herrera

Hna Guerrero and a brand new missionary took over the area when Hna O and I left.

14 Feb 2015--Kevin got baptized on his birthday! (and Valentine's Day)

(In the picture, his member girlfriend Soraya and Soraya's father, who apparently baptized him)

Cojutepeque: City in the Clouds

Time in Cojute: 4½ months
The sisters' area in Cojutepeque was pure city. It was more difficult to proselyte there than any other area I worked in because of the number of different churches and the locations of the gang boundaries, but it was also beautiful and we received a lot of support from the branch members.
Companions: Hna Abadillo (1½ months), Hna Merrell (3 months)

A couple stories...

Memories of Hna Abadillo
Although I didn't record many experiences doing missionary work with Hna Abadillo, she was one of my most influential companions. Hna Abadillo and I were only together one cambio (six weeks), but she helped me a lot to trust more in the Lord and the Atonement, and to carry on even when I was tired or discouraged. Her personality reminded me a lot of Hna Gonzalez, which I LOVED. We cooked a lot of Rice Krispie treats together (she had quite the sweet tooth) and had some AWESOME lessons. She was ill off and on throughout the cambio, but we worked through it. She's a trooper.

Coackroach contact
"Today we did one of the funniest contacts of my mission. We were knocking on Hno Mauricio's door (he wasn't home) when we saw an older woman carrying two planks of wood on her head. We could see that she wanted to get them down to rest a moment but was having difficulty.

"Hna Merrell went to help her lower the planks, with me following behind a minute later. As I neared, she said urgently, 'Ayúdeme! Estos bolados pesan con TODO!'

"I set down my scriptures to help and found that she was right. Those pieces of wood were a LOT heavier than they looked. We managed to get them off the woman's head and put them on the ground. Then we tried to talk with her, but she was mute and could only communicate with hand signals. We never guessed her address because suddenly a bunch of coackroaches came out from underneath the wooden planks and distracted us. The woman and Hna Merrell both screamed. Hna Merrell began trembling, imagining what would have happened if a coackroach had fallen on her while she was getting the wood down.

"She told me just now: 'I thought those planks were going to crush me like a pancake!'

"I can only imagine the damage that could have happened if a coackroach had fallen and startled Hna Merrell.

"Al final, we left the mute woman shooing coackroaches into the street. It was an interesting day." (Journal 2, 7 August 2014, self-translated)

 me, Hna Abadillo, Hna Foster, and Hna Castro in Ilobasco

 26 July 2014--Teodoro's Baptism! Me, Hna Abadillo, Carlos, Teodoro, Hno Abarca (first counselor in the branch presidency)

Typical p-day in Cojute: playing Phase 10 over lunch as a district

E. Castro, E. Cardoza, me, Hna A, E. Tabango (E. Roldan took the photo)

A rainy day turned the street into a little river

 Rodriguez Family: Edwin (branch mission leader), Gilberto, Maria, Omar, Gilberto Sr, Tania, Carlitos, Carlos, and friend

Ramirez Family: Nataly, Samuel, Susana, Monica, Dany, and Yolanda

September 2014--Hna Merrell and I saw Hnas Garcia and Cano at Immigration! (We were renewing our visas)

with a famous statue, "Salvador del Mundo" in San Salvador

Hna Merrell is a pro when it comes to de-icing the fridge

We pulled lots of ice chunks out of our fridge. No wonder it hadn't been closing right! (It closed fine after we finished deep cleaning it.)

Making pizza with Hna Ramirez

6 Sept 2014--Gilberto Jr's baptism! His brother Edwin baptized him. Algún día, cuando Gilberto Sr se bautice, todos serán miembros.

Jorje and Beatriz (Beatriz is Gilberto's cousin; before she found the Church she was a Jehovah's Witness; she went out with us a lot)

24 Sept 2014--Temple trip!

It was POURING rain

7 Oct 2014--Intercambios with Hna Huamani!!!

Hna Ramirez gave me this dress

Sports day in zona Sensuntepeque

Wearing T-shirts and skirts in true Salvadoreño style

Hermanas' meeting at President's house