I had the privilege of speaking in church on Father’s Day. I love and admire my dad!
The thing that impressed me the most when I was studying and preparing my talk was the way Apostle D. Todd Christofferson likened Jesus Christ’s teaching that “Greater love hath no man than this, that a man lay down his life for his friends” (John 15:13). Elder Christofferson said:
Fathers manifest that love as they lay down their lives day by day, laboring in the service and support of their families.
I had always thought about Jesus’ quote in terms of being willing to die for someone. Elder Christofferson’s words helped me realize that it can also mean living for someone. Parents sacrifice so much for their children, and in that way, they are very Christlike.
The following is an approximate transcript of my talk yesterday:
I am honored and excited to speak about fathers today.
In my talk, I will be quoting parts of Apostle D. Todd Christofferson’s sermon entitled “Fathers,” which he gave in the April 2016 Church general conference. But first, I’d like to quote a paragraph from the Gospel Topics essay entitled “Family”:
The Lord has designated the family to be the basic unit of the Church and of society. As used in the scriptures, a family consists of a husband and wife, children, and sometimes other relatives living in the same house or under one family head. A family can also be a single person living alone, a single parent with children, or a husband and wife without children. …
fathers and mothers today are equal partners in the family.
One of the things Elder D. Todd Christofferson said in his talk was, “We believe that far from being superfluous, fathers are unique and irreplaceable.”
What does “superfluous” mean? It means “extra or unnecessary.” So, fathers are far from being extra or unnecessary—they are unique and irreplaceable.
Of course, we are all part of a Heavenly Family. Elder Christofferson said,
The role of father is of divine origin, beginning with a Father in Heaven and, in this mortal sphere, with Father Adam.
There are different types of fathers. There are married fathers, single fathers, adopted fathers, foster fathers, stepfathers. There are also men who don’t have children of their own but are still father figures. If there are children in your life who look up to you, you play a fatherly role.
According to Elder Christofferson, husband and father are “the highest of masculine roles.”
Some of the characteristics I appreciate in my dad are:
1) He likes to have fun—When I was growing up, he’d take me on “daddy-daughter dates” all the time. One of my favorite memories is the time my best friend and I went go kart racing together with our dads. On the way home, my dad was still driving like a go kart driver. He took a corner a little too fast and wiped out a pedestrian crossing sign. He also ripped the muffler off the car, causing it to drag on the road. He and my friend’s dad found an old pair of jeans in the trunk and tied them around the muffler. Then my friend’s dad leaned out the window holding up the muffler while my dad drove home. The scariest part was getting over the railroad tracks, but we made it! After we dropped off my friend and her dad and pulled into our driveway, my dad turned around and looked at me. He gave a little laugh and said, “Jess, if I don’t laugh I’m going to cry, because I have to explain this to your mother.”
2) He prioritizes our family—My dad double majored in Russian and international relations. He’s never worked in that field. After his college graduation, he had an opportunity to do some work in Russia, but he turned it down because he wasn’t going to be able to bring his family along. To me, that’s an amazing example of sacrificing for us.
3) My dad cries easily—He cries when he gives me blessings, he cried when I told him we were expecting a baby girl, and he cries when he shares his feelings about the gospel.
4) Most important of all, I know my dad cares—When my brother had severe depression, he prayed to know what it was like so he could understand. He told me it felt like a thick, heavy, black feeling weighing on him. That experience helped him understand better what my brother was going through. Dad also has a gift for caring about other people; it comes naturally to him. He’s always been a good example to me of including others and talking to people I don’t know well at church.
If I had only one word to describe my dad, it would be “tender.”
Some characteristics I appreciate in my father-in-law are:
1) His sense of humor—He and his wife are always playing practical jokes on each other and some of them can get pretty elaborate. It’s pretty funny.
2) He’s hardworking—He always has a project and he’s always willing to help his children with their projects.
3) He’s also a crier, which I think is sweet. Now, if Clay is listening closely, no doubt he’s feeling guilty for NOT being a crier, so let me say clearly that it’s not necessary to cry for people to feel the sincerity of your testimony.
4) My father-in-law frequently tells his children he loves them and that he’s proud of them.
5) He diligently seeks opportunities to share his feelings about the gospel with his family, even the family members who are not currently participating in church.
My husband, Clayton, shares many of these same characteristics. That’s a big part of what attracted me to him and why I love him.
Other father figures in my life have been:
1) Rod Hill was one of my neighbors growing up. He was an ex-Marine and taught 6th grade. I thought he was the coolest “old” man ever.
2) Kris White was one of my Primary teachers. I think he gave me my first Book of Mormon. It had his testimony written in the front.
3) Brother Shock and Brother Southard were two of our family’s home teachers when I was growing up.
4) My grandfathers have been father figures to me.
5) I served a mission under two mission presidents, David Glazier and Bruno Vasquez. I look up to them a lot.
Ideally, one of a father’s defining traits is love.
In one of the Church’s Father’s Day tribute videos, someone says, “A dad means love that never goes away.”
I once heard someone say that you love what you sacrifice for and you sacrifice for what you love.
Elder Christofferson said:
Fatherhood requires sacrifice, but it is a source of incomparable satisfaction, even joy. Again, the ultimate model is our Heavenly Father, who so loved us, His spirit children, that He gave us His Only Begotten Son for our salvation and exaltation. Jesus said, “Greater love hath no man than this, that a man lay down his life for his friends.” Fathers manifest that love as they lay down their lives day by day, laboring in the service and support of their families.
Elder Christofferson went on to say:
Perhaps the most essential of a father’s work is to turn the hearts of his children to their Heavenly Father.
Certainly teaching the gospel is a shared duty between fathers and mothers, but the Lord is clear that He expects fathers to lead out in making it a high priority. … The Lord expects fathers to help shape their children, and children want and need a model.
My dad has always been a great role model for me. I mentioned one thing I love about my dad is how he puts our family first.
I think it’s safe to say that 2020 was a difficult year for everyone due to the COVID-19 pandemic. My family had an additional trial. In May 2020, my dad was hit by an impaired driver. It was a bad accident and he really should have died. Miraculously, he survived, although he did lose his left leg below the knee. He now has a prosthetic and suffers from chronic pain.
As he was recovering, one of his biggest concerns was to preserve his family relationships by not becoming bitter.
He and my mom have been extraordinary examples to me of forgiveness, trusting the Lord, leaning on Him for strength and guidance, and keeping an eternal perspective. My mom said when they made the decision to do the amputation, one thing that gave her a lot of comfort was the doctrine of the Resurrection. In the Resurrection, my dad will have a perfect body. Because of Jesus Christ, none of our physical imperfections are permanent.
My parents regularly share the things they’ve learned through this trial with youth groups and other groups.
I’d like to finish with my testimony that fathers really are unique and irreplaceable. I feel blessed to have wonderful father figures in my life. We also all have a loving, perfect Father in Heaven who does so much for us—much of which we probably don’t recognize. I’m grateful for my fathers.
In the name of Jesus Christ, amen.
