1. Christ's grace is sufficient to cover our weaknesses. I learned this lesson very well on my mission. I am not the most outgoing person in the world, and when I first arrived in El Salvador it was hard for me to learn to talk to people in the street and do all the things missionaries have to do. But over time, I learned that I didn't have to be perfect in order to be a "good" missionary. Really, all I had to do was try. As long as I tried, the Lord could bless my efforts and make them enough.
In the Book of Mormon, it reads:
And if men come unto me I will show unto them their weakness. I give unto men weakness that they may be humble; and my grace is sufficient for all men that humble themselves before me; for if they humble themselves before me, and have faith in me, then will I make weak things become strong unto them. (Ether 12:27)We are all human beings who make mistakes and have our own strengths and weaknesses. But God and Jesus Christ are perfect, and they can use even imperfect instruments to do their work. As it says in another scripture, God is able to do His own work. One of my missionary trainers once told us, "This work is bigger than you." He meant it as, "Forget yourself and focus on your purpose," but it hit me in a different way: God is in control. Whatever mistakes we make, it will all be okay in the end because God will use our imperfect efforts to bring to pass miracles. (If we humble ourselves before Him, of course.)
When I first arrived in Apopa (my second area in the mission), it was hard for me because I was fresh out of training and President made me a senior companion over another missionary with more experience. I was really intimidated, overwhelmed, and stressed. Every night, I cried into my pillow as I poured out my soul to God. I told Him I didn't feel good enough, and a lot of things weren't going my way. He didn't answer my prayer by immediately vanishing all of my problems and insecurity, but He did provide me with the strength I needed to carry on. Every morning, I felt a renewed sense of hope and faith that in the night before it had seemed impossible to possess. I learned to trust in the Lord. This was a miracle He performed day after day, week after week, and month after month, until I finally felt secure with myself as a missionary.
2. "You serve what you love and you love what you serve." My mission president once said that to us in a zone conference. He compared it to our mothers. Why do we love our mothers so much? Because they're always serving us. Why do our mothers love us so much? Because they're always serving us. This principle applies to all aspects of life. In the mission field, I learned to love the Salvadorean people, and I especially learned to love the Lord.
The prophet Moroni explains why this kind of selfless love is so important:
Wherefore, my beloved brethren, pray unto the Father with all the energy of heart, that ye may be filled with this love, which he hath bestowed upon all who are true followers of his Son, Jesus Christ; that ye may become the sons of God; that when he shall appear we shall be like him, for we shall see him as he is; that we may have this hope; that we may be purified even as he is pure. Amen. (Moroni 7:48, emphasis added)Meaning, if we don't have this love, we are not true followers of Jesus Christ. I prayed a lot on my mission to be filled with this love. Then I tried to show love to the people I visited, and the love developed in me naturally. Every time I was able to watch someone make changes in their life, or be baptized, I was filled with joy. I was happy because I loved them.
Hermano Victor is one of the most memorable people I met on my mission. When the missionaries first met him, he was preparing to become a pastor in a neighborhood church. They asked if they could share a message with him, and discovered that about 20 years before he had already received a pair of elders, who had given him a copy of the Book of Mormon. He had read the entire Book of Mormon from beginning to end, but didn't understand much of what he read. The sisters' biggest challenge was getting him to come to church, but after weeks of inviting him, they finally convinced him to give it a chance. When he stepped through the doors, one of the first things he saw was a painting of the Second Coming of Jesus Christ. He stopped, said, "I saw that painting in my dream," and after that he never missed a Sunday.
In his old church, he had had a portion of the true Gospel of Jesus Christ, but there in the chapel in San Miguel he found the fulness of the truth, and it completely changed his life. The week before his baptism, he was changing a lightbulb in his ceiling when he fell from a ladder on top of a nail. We actually knocked on his door only minutes after it happened, and instead of teaching him that day we had to clean up the glass pieces and doctor him up a little. He told us, "Don't worry, sisters, I know what this is. Satan is trying to keep me from being baptized. Well, I'll show him. I will be baptized this Saturday!" And he was. He is currently serving in the Roosevelt Ward by putting away all the chairs after church, and although he could have been a pastor had he stayed in his old church, he is proud of that small assignment. His testimony has greatly strengthened mine. I love that 67-year-old man with all my heart.
3. Sharing the gospel is part of our baptismal covenant. When we are baptized, we promise to be witnesses of God at all times and in all things (Mosiah 18:9). It's a commandment for us to share the gospel, and a show of true love for others. We are talking about helping our family members and friends who may not know the gospel receive the fulness of the truth, so that they may one day return to live in the presence of God. On my mission, I learned that sharing the gospel doesn't have to be scary - you just have to look for the needs of others and listen to the Spirit, which will tell you how you can help (Doctrine and Covenants 84:85). As I focused my attention outward, I slowly gained experience in recognizing and following that still, small voice.
I once met a woman in Cojutepeque named Maricela. She was a wife and mother to four children. We were having a rough day. All our fixed appointments fell through, and very few people were receiving us into their homes. As a last resort, we finally knocked on a door neighboring one of our contacts (he hadn't been home) and Maricela opened the door. She was very surprised to see us, and after inviting us in, told us why. About five years before, one of her teenage sons was murdered. She took the tragedy very hard and wanted answers. One of her friends came forward, introduced herself as a member of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints, and began teaching her about the Plan of Salvation and what happens after death. Maricela began taking the missionary lessons, but then lost contact with the elders until she moved to Cojute.
She said she had actually seen us about two weeks before walking down the street. She was so excited to see us that she commented to a friend who was with her, "Look! Those are the missionaries." She began praying really hard that we would stop and talk to her... and was very disappointed when we walked right past her.
I felt so guilty when she shared this story with us. I thought to myself, if only I had been paying more attention to the people around me and to the Spirit, we could have found this woman who truly needs the gospel two weeks ago! I was grateful that God in His mercy had given us a second chance and led us to find her, but I privately determined never to let anyone slip by me again.
That determination was put to the test many times in San Miguel. One night in particular, my companion and I were again having a rough day. All the appointments fell through, few people had received us, and it was almost time to go home for the night. We were so discouraged we didn't even want to street contact anymore, but as we trudged along I thought to myself, this is dumb. We are missionaries. We're supposed to talk with everyone! I'm going to talk to the very next person I see! ... The very next person I saw was a young, 20-year-old man named Joving. We began talking with him, and he said, "Well, my mom goes to this church, my grandma goes to another church, and my aunt goes to that other church, but I've never been to a Mormon church before." He committed to attend a missionary activity at the San Salvador Temple the very next day (about a 3-hour commute each way, but that didn't faze him), felt the Spirit at the temple, and on the way home asked me what he had to do to enter it one day, and what he had to do to become a full-time missionary like we were. He was baptized six weeks later (on the last Saturday of my mission).
4. In life, if we have God, we have everything, even if we have nothing. The majority of the people where I served in El Salvador lived in very humble conditions. Some had nice, but always small, houses. Others lived in houses made of big aluminum sheets. Some had nothing but a plastic sheet to sleep under. But in every case, although the people had few earthly possessions, I was amazed by their faith in God and their overall good humor. I learned from each of them a simple truth: if we put God first in our lives, He really does take care of us, and we may experience joy even in difficult circumstances. Some simple verses of scripture say it best:
And we did observe to keep the judgments, and the statutes, and the commandments of the Lord in all things, according to the law of Moses. And the Lord was with us; and we did prosper exceedingly...And it came to pass that we lived after the manner of happiness. (2 Nephi 5:10-11, 27)One of my most faithful converts, Hermana Rosa from Nejapa (in Apopa) lives with her family in a small three-room house made of aluminum sheets with a dirt floor. They live with their chickens and two dogs. She doesn't have many earthly possessions, but her home has a sweet, unique Spirit and sense of security that other homes don't have. She's proud to own a Bible and Triple Combination and reads her scriptures every day. She was the first member of her family to take that big step of faith by being baptized, but over time her daughter and husband were baptized too, and now the entire family is persevering in the Gospel of Jesus Christ.
As I was reading the Book of Mormon on my mission, a verse in Mosiah caught my eye. It's part of the story of Alma, a great gospel teacher who had to sneak away from the city and hold church meetings in secret because the king had threatened to kill him and everyone who listened to him. Although it was dangerous for the people to meet him there outside the city, their sacrifices enabled them to gain eternal blessings, and they were glad to make them:
And now it came to pass that all this was done in Mormon, yea, by the waters of Mormon, in the forest that was near the waters of Mormon; yea, the place of Mormon, the waters of Mormon, the forest of Mormon, how beautiful are they to the eyes of them who there came to the knowledge of their Redeemer; yea, and how blessed are they, for they shall sing to his praise forever. (Mosiah 18:30)Now, read the verse again, but replace the word "Mormon" with "El Salvador." Cool, huh. This verse perfectly describes my feelings for the wonderful country of El Salvador. I am very, very grateful that my Heavenly Father allowed me to serve there as His representative for the past 18 months. I know He lives, and has real power that we can feel in our lives- if we're looking for it. I know He loves us, and everything He does or allows to happen in our lives has a purpose, and that purpose is to help us learn and grow so we can be happy with our families forever in His presence.
